“I’m not yet enough,” and other energy-wasting thoughts.
Automatic negative thoughts can come up and slow down our progress toward contributing to collective change.
Here, I’d like to talk about one of my own negative thoughts that I continue to tackle. The core of the thought sounds like this:
I’m not yet enough.
Specifically in launching my coaching practice, it sounds like, “I’m too novice to be an entrepreneur. I don’t have a MBA, I haven’t studied this for years and years. Will I succeed? Maybe I shouldn’t do this.”
This automatic negative thought falls under the category of labeling. This causes trouble because when we label ourselves or others, we inhibit our ability to take a clear look at what’s true.
When I coach clients (and myself!) - I support them to distinguish the labels they're putting on themselves. Then, I guide them to take a step back and separate from the thought - sure it exists in our minds, but what if we didn’t take full ownership? What if we imagined some little gremlin on our shoulder saying it to us instead? In this case, my gremlin’s name is Gloria (reach out to me if you want to hear the story of why!). Naming the gremlin and hearing the thoughts as a message from them instead of an accepted truth from ourselves can position us to hear the thought instead of produce it; respond instead of spiral; and choose action over stagnation.
Above, you can see the way my brain, uninterrupted, produces the negative thought, spirals, and moves toward stagnation. If I instead separate myself and hear it as a message from my gremlin - new doors open up.
Gloria: You’re too novice to be an entrepreneur.
Me: Why do you say that?
Gloria: You don’t have a MBA, you haven’t studied this for years and years
Me: Is that really what’s required to succeed?…
Me: I’ve got other stuff…
Me: I’ve got my passion for coaching and a deep belief that it’s my best lane to support our collective dreams being bigger and more possible all at once.
Me: I’ve also got an incredible network of family, friends, colleagues, coaches, role models and mentors who will support and guide me.
You guessed, it, also me: I’ll be new at this - definitely - but that doesn’t determine my future success or contribution - I still want to try with what I have.
So here I am! After another conversation with Gloria, now 60 days away from my full-time business launch in January 2021 ready to enter another week of learning, connecting, and serving my current clients.
What labels have you allowed for yourself lately? Are you ready to respond?
