Quiet Your Inner Critic in 3 Steps
You know that moment when you realize you did something stupid?
A thought wakes you up at 6AM: “WAIT! I did that calculation wrong at work!”
You replay the Instagram poll you posted 6 hours ago and realize it says something completely inappropriate without the audio context.
An awkward email comes back to you after you replied all instead of to one person.
Yep, AWKWARD. Now cue the inner-critic:
Why were you so stupid?
Of course you got that wrong.
How come you didn’t notice that?
Really?!
Well - you’ve ruined the day.
The inner critic does nothing but beat you up - so why do you let yourself cycle on these thoughts?
It could be because you’re deeply afraid that if you don’t keep beating yourself up, reliving the embarrassment, hiding on the sidelines, then you’ll make the mistake again. But this isn’t a given. You can quiet the inner-critic thoughts, build your confidence back and exit that dizzying, unwanted, rickety merry-go-round of self-criticism.
When it’s time to quiet your inner critic, check out these 3 steps inspired by the work of Shirzad Chamine, author of Positive Intelligence and CEO of Positive Intelligence Inc.
Your 3 Steps to Quieting Your Inner Critic
First, get grounded in this mantra: Everything can present me with a gift or opportunity.
WHAT THIS DOES: Standing in this mantra helps you shift from a mindset of despair to one of curiosity. If it’s true that even this mistake can present you with an opportunity or gift, don’t you wonder what it is?
Second, concretely name the gift or opportunity in your situation.
To do this, look through 3 lenses:
The lens of knowledge - Did you learn something because of this mistake?
The lens of power - Did you strengthen a character trait, skill, sense of yourself, relationship, or something else through this mistake?
The lens of inspiration - Do you see a new possibility you may have never realized if you wouldn’t have been right here, right now, as you are?
WHAT THIS DOES: Finding the gift creates an exit point for you in the cycle of self-criticism by adding a layer of purpose and learning to what you just experienced.
Third, identify how you can use the gift moving forward.
If your gift was knowledge, how might you apply the lesson next time you’re in a similar situation?
If you found your gift in strength, how can you leverage this new power in similar or different settings?
If you found your gift in inspiration, who can you share it with?
You deserve to have a say in which thoughts float through your brain on a daily basis.
This strategy is one of many that you can use to quiet fear driven thoughts and build up your life and leadership around empathy, exploration, innovation, navigation and action. Want to learn more? Check out my Mental Fitness for Transitions Program!
